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October 13, 2007

What Moore Can Happen to Les?

outoftowners.gifClearly Tom Batiuk is hellbent on showing us that Lisa Moore was, indeed, the lucky one. When last we saw widower Les, he was wandering the seedier parts of New York City, having just had his wallet and cell phone stolen — and he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to have been on his way home today.

He’s clearly no more than a deus ex machina away from becoming one of those guys who tries to tries to clean your windshield with a greasy rag near the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel.

Since by now even Mr. Batiuk must be running out of tortures to inflict on his characters, I propose (said proposal suggested by one of Laurie’s posts) that we help him out by suggesting additional indignities Les can be subjected to before the Great Leap Forward (and extra credit if it explains why he apparently isn’t telling all this to a psychiatrist until ten years later).

Yesterday’s Post: Where Depression’s Just Status Quo

So what, Les is living on Skid Row now and has lost track of what day it is? And never bought a return ticket?

Maybe this is why he isn’t speaking to the psychiatrist until 10 years after the fact: He’d been living in New York as a homeless person for the past decade.


  1. His wallet was stolen in yesterday’s strip, presumably including the ticket.

    Comment by Carl — October 12, 2007 @ 7:32 am

  2. Have you ever put a plane ticket (which can be replaced with a phone call) into your wallet?

    And yes, that phone call might be a little more problematic than it would have been a few minutes ago.

    Which is all a moot point, since apparently Les was supposed to already be on the plane.

    Comment by Cidu Bill — October 12, 2007 @ 1:38 pm

  3. I’d assume that he’d have a e-ticket, for which you have to show ID, which was stolen. Also, this is apparently the point at which Les stopped shaving, you can see the goatee coming in nicely.

    Comment by David — October 12, 2007 @ 4:13 pm

  4. Could someone please save me from having to look back through all the old Funky strips of late – where did Les go to scatter Lisa’s ashes? It’s all taken so long that I’ve forgotten! Thanks in advance!

    Comment by Laurie Wylie — October 13, 2007 @ 12:17 am

  5. Central Park, in NYC

    Comment by Cidu Bill — October 13, 2007 @ 12:21 am

  6. Thanks for saving me from reliving the misery yet again!

    Comment by Laurie Wylie — October 13, 2007 @ 12:33 am

  7. I think maybe assuming Les is (or is about to become) homeless in the bowels of NYC is just a wee bit premature. The ticket is in the wallet. He may or may not have already missed his flight. He just found out he’s been pickpocketed, and has not reported it to the police, who, at their worst, will still help him out. If he hasn’t got his best friend’s phone number committed to memory, he must have a major learning disability.

    Let the story unfold. This is just a case of shit luck, one thing after another.

    Comment by O.B. Dan — October 13, 2007 @ 12:43 am

  8. I assume the original “homeless” comment was a joke, and I thought it was hilarious! During Les’ bleak trip, every day I’ve been thinking up the most amusing or bizarre follow-up strip for the next day. Right now I’m sticking with my speculation that the pick-pocket with the “Les glasses” uses the plane ticket, reclaims Les’ daughter from a drunken Funky, and takes over Les’s life. Ten years later, original-Les finally wanders home and gets into a nasty custody battle with pickpocket-Les and his evil cohort (played by Carol Burnett as Miss Hannigan from “Annie”). In the final courtroom scene (with Rita Moreno as judge), a surprise witness stands up at the back of the courtroom and announces that the 2 Les’s are actually long-lost twins, and they all live happily ever after. Oh, and Les grew the goatee so people could tell them apart.

    Comment by Laurie Wylie — October 13, 2007 @ 1:31 am

  9. Laurie, this was all very credible until you got to the “happily ever after” part. This is Funky Winkerbean, after all.

    Comment by Cidu Bill — October 13, 2007 @ 1:39 am

  10. … until Les develops lupus and Parkinson’s, testicular cancer, and malaria, and – in a fever and disoriented – wanders out in the street in the middle of the night and gets hit by a piano-mover’s truck. His feet are amputated (by a loose f-string) in the accident, and over the next few months the doctors gradually amputate the rest of his legs, then his fingers and hands and arms and torso, and he ends up as a head in a jar. Then he gets a brain tumor….

    Comment by Laurie Wylie — October 13, 2007 @ 1:58 am

  11. How long *has* he been wandering around New York City in the rain? I thought all this was happening the day he arrived, but his “I’d be back today” makes no sense if that’s the case. If he has been wandering for days, where did he sleep?

    This is making absolutely no sense whatsoever.

    Comment by Charlene — October 13, 2007 @ 8:21 am

  12. Heh, “where depression’s just status quo…” It took me forever to place that line. 😉

    Let’s see, further humiliations for Les — somebody choloroforms him, and he wakes up missing a kidney?

    Comment by Brian Leahy — October 13, 2007 @ 11:46 am

  13. Brian, three things to remember: If in doubt, Arlo is making a sexual reference. If in doubt, Argyle Sweater is making a poop reference. And if in doubt, I’m making a theatre reference, usually far more obscure than this one.

    Comment by Cidu Bill — October 13, 2007 @ 2:24 pm

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