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January 3, 2008

How I Would Fix Funky Winkerbean

Filed under: Bill Bickel, comic strips, comics, Funky Winkerbean, humor, Les Moore, Lisa Moore, Tom Batiuk — Cidu Bill @ 12:17 am

It’s 1999. The gang is playing touch football, and Lisa is hit hard and goes down. She loses consciousness for a few minutes and when she wakes up she says “Les, I just had this terrible dream. I died, and after I was gone you aged very badly and became a pathetic loser who creeps out our daughter.” Les assures her none of this will ever happen, she adds “and Les, let’s sell all our stock right now,” and the strip continues from there.


  1. “By the way, I need to get a mammogram from a different hospital…”

    Comment by kedamono — January 3, 2008 @ 12:31 am

  2. LOVE IT!!! Or maybe this idea for a nice sappy big color Sunday strip: the first frame is a close-up of Les shaving while looking in the bathroom mirror. The second frame zooms out a bit and we can see a shower door behind him… in the third frame zooms out more and we can see the door has a shadowy silhouette behind it and the shower is running… In the fourth frame, the shower door is open and there’s a dark figure looming behind Les… and in the fifth frame Lisa is hugging Les from behind and kissing him on the neck. The sixth/last frame has Lisa saying, “I hope I didn’t wake you up last night, I had the worst dream…”

    Comment by L.B. Wylie — January 3, 2008 @ 1:08 am

  3. I thought L.B. was going to say in that in the fifth frame, Death hugs Les from behind.

    Comment by Blinky the Wonder Wombat — January 3, 2008 @ 6:17 am

  4. No doubt Les would like all the dream scenarios to be true as well.

    I’ll go out on a limb here and state for whatever it’s worth (not much, I’d wager) that I admire Battuik for continually reinventing FW – even if it goes in unpopular directions – rather than let it go stale. Sure it’s depressing at times, sure he could get to the point a little faster, but would we really be better off with the same Harry Dinkle and hallway monitoring gags used throughout the 80s?

    I think other strips could use a little kick in the pants. Who’s up for some life-changing tragedy in the Bumstead family?

    Comment by The Ploughman — January 3, 2008 @ 11:56 am

  5. > Who’s up for some life-changing tragedy in the Bumstead family?

    No- all tragedy and misery should be saved up for Ruthie in that horrible children’s strip.

    Comment by Madalch — January 3, 2008 @ 1:39 pm

  6. re #3 – Actually, that did cross my mind (and caused me to rub my hands together and cackle evily). Then the sixth frame would just be all black and Funky would be gone forever, a la Sopranos.

    re #5 – Awwww, don’t pick on Ruthie! I can’t explain why, but I looooove Ruthie!

    Comment by L.B. Wylie — January 3, 2008 @ 4:46 pm

  7. How about the garbage truck from DILBERT pays FW a visit and they all disapear a la ONCE APON A TIME IN AMERICA.

    Comment by Frank — January 3, 2008 @ 6:57 pm

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