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January 3, 2008

How I Would Fix Funky Winkerbean

Filed under: Bill Bickel, comic strips, comics, Funky Winkerbean, humor, Les Moore, Lisa Moore, Tom Batiuk — Cidu Bill @ 12:17 am

It’s 1999. The gang is playing touch football, and Lisa is hit hard and goes down. She loses consciousness for a few minutes and when she wakes up she says “Les, I just had this terrible dream. I died, and after I was gone you aged very badly and became a pathetic loser who creeps out our daughter.” Les assures her none of this will ever happen, she adds “and Les, let’s sell all our dot.com stock right now,” and the strip continues from there.

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December 22, 2007

If He Thought About It a Bit Moore…

Filed under: Bill Bickel, CIDU, comic strips, comics, date rape, Funk Winkerbean, humor, Les Moore, Lisa Moore — Cidu Bill @ 2:26 pm

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Of course, Lisa ended up pregnant after a high school date encounter that was later retconned into a date rape…

December 2, 2007

Topical Depression

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Everybody sent me this one. Really. Some because of the obvious comic strip theme, and others because the opinion I posted a couple of months ago (citing the FBOFW and Funky examples among others) that aging baby boomers should not be allowed to write comic strips: because we’re reaching the point where lingering illnesses are a part of our lives, and many of us were brought up believing that whatever’s on our minds is something we absolutely need to share with everybody else.

And by the way, Child in the Lower Left-Hand Corner… Comic strips that have been around for a long time didn’t start out focusing on depressing themes: Long-running strips remain in the newspapers based on a combination (varying from comic to comic) of loyal fan base and inertia.

Oh, and… When did Frumpy the Clown return and why is he wearing a dress???

October 17, 2007

The Complete Funky Files

October 13, 2007

Funky Prediction

Assuming Tom Batiuk, like most of the rest of us, has had his fill of Dark Funky… Les calls Cindy, the only person he knows in New York. She helps him through the next few days, they become close, and eventually she decides that the life of a television reporter isn’t what she really wants from life — and that a life back in Ohio with Les might be (thus fulfilling the common writer fantasy of the high school nerd ending up with the high school beauty queen).

Les’s visit to the psychiatrist is taking place on the tenth anniversary of Lisa’s death and is occasioned not by any depression or life crisis, but because he wants “validation” for his desire to move on and ask Cindy to marry him. When the strip restarts, one of the first storylines involves 15-year-old Summer and step-mom Cindy learning to deal with one another. Les is happy, and it was Lisa’s quarter that brought him to Cindy and helped him resume his life.

Quarter ex Machina

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I thought I was kidding about that.

Actually, Lisa having given Les that quarter years ago and his having had it around his neck all this time is all a lot more probable than Les finding a working pay phone in the lobby of this fleabag hotel (though I will say this: If this first first panel actually did appear years ago, I’m suitably impressed).

Bottom line, though, I can’t imagine anybody not being willing to accept a little deus ex machina for the sake of bringing Les’s New York Adventure to a quicker close.

What Moore Can Happen to Les?

outoftowners.gifClearly Tom Batiuk is hellbent on showing us that Lisa Moore was, indeed, the lucky one. When last we saw widower Les, he was wandering the seedier parts of New York City, having just had his wallet and cell phone stolen — and he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to have been on his way home today.

He’s clearly no more than a deus ex machina away from becoming one of those guys who tries to tries to clean your windshield with a greasy rag near the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel.

Since by now even Mr. Batiuk must be running out of tortures to inflict on his characters, I propose (said proposal suggested by one of Laurie’s posts) that we help him out by suggesting additional indignities Les can be subjected to before the Great Leap Forward (and extra credit if it explains why he apparently isn’t telling all this to a psychiatrist until ten years later).

Yesterday’s Post: Where Depression’s Just Status Quo

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So what, Les is living on Skid Row now and has lost track of what day it is? And never bought a return ticket?

Maybe this is why he isn’t speaking to the psychiatrist until 10 years after the fact: He’d been living in New York as a homeless person for the past decade.

October 9, 2007

Lose It As Quickly As You Urn It

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Am I missing something, or is there a complete disconnect between the first and second panels? And what does airport security not checking the camera case have to do with the price of tea in China anyway?

(and for that matter, is there any possibility you’d be allowed to take an urn full of ashes — or so you claim — on board a plane as carry-on? Unless, I guess, this whole storyline has been retconned back to 1997)

October 8, 2007

His Only Concern

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Hopefully, the point of all this will be his eventual realization that his “only concern” was terribly misplaced: One one hand there’s his daughter, a little girl whose just lost her mother, who he’s dumping off with friends. On the other hand there’s Lisa’s ashes, which he’d promised to scatter in New York’s Central Park — but there really isn’t all that great a rush on this.

October 4, 2007

The Last Laugh

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by syndicated cartoonist Jeff Stahler

So the Slow, Lingering Death Baton Has Been Passed On to Grandpa Jim…

October 3, 2007

The Rule of Three

  • So who’s going to follow Lisa Moore and Grandpa Jim into the Great Unknown?

Leaving

Filed under: Bill Bickel, CIDU, comic strips, comics, death, Funky Winkerbean, Lisa Moore — Cidu Bill @ 4:19 am

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Umm… yes she did?

The bigger question here is, in whose mind is this scene taking place?

Or perhaps it should be, Since when is the Angel of Music moonlighting as the Angel of Death?

Tomorrow is a Good Day to Die

Filed under: Bill Bickel, comic strips, comics, death, Funky Winkerbean, Lisa Moore — Cidu Bill @ 12:33 am

Looks like Lisa Moore might not be leaving this mortal coil alone on Thursday (more…)

October 1, 2007

Memo to Tom Batiuk Regarding Monday’s Funky

Put her out of her f****** misery already. Seriously, it’s perverse to torture even a fictional character this way.

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